I have created this blog for everyone and to declare the problem which is very hard to cope with on one's own. Once your start throwing up to keep your weight, you can't stop any more. Weight and parameters of your figure become key life values.

Bulimia is a forced escape from exhausting diets and starvation periods. They are followed by uncontrolled engorgement with subsequent stomach and bowel cleansing. Such method of staying slim is detrimental to health. It also has an adverse effect on your mind. It is an addiction. Breaking out of this vicious cycle requires at least knowledge of what is happening to you and ability to accept the problem to find solutions to it.

The blog will serve as a source of necessary information for those suffering from bulimia (or from mixed form with anorexia). As well as for bulimic's relatives as the symptoms may be aggravated if not considered to be a disease. Or the addiction of your daughter (wife, sister) may become more severe due to mentoring, persuasion, and threats.

So, what is actually nervous bulimia?

First I will quote a classical encyclopaedic definition to present useful information in a usual way:

BULIMIA is an disorder of eating behavior, characterized by repeating engorgement fits and «eating» orgies. To avoid obesity most bulimics lend themselves to one or another way of stomach cleaning by artificial retching or taking purgatives or diuretics. Others expose themselves to excessive physical exercising or regular fast.

As I mentioned anorexia as well I will quote its definition as it will be discussed later:

ANOREXIA NERVOSA is a disease characterized by weight loss, corpulence phobia, a distorted idea of one's appearance and severe metabolic and hormonal disregulations. Lack of appetite, ischomenia, physical hyperactivity, and sometimes appetite increase with post-meal retching, obsessive anxiety about food, cooking, engorgement fits and attempts to slim can also occur. Patients often obstinately deny having any eating disorders. Mainly teenage girls are exposed to nervous anorexia.

Native psychiatrists do not consider nervous anorexia and nervous bulimia to be two different variants but stages of one and same disease, during which either food self-continence may evolve into bulimia or nervous anorexia and nervous bulimia coexist. Patients stint themselves in food for some time but then they can't stand hunger or restrain from eating much. In the course of time bulimia progresses. Though patients achieve artificial stomach emptying after overeating episodes not all of them manage to turn the trick i.e. achieve weight loss. In some cases there is a gradual body weight increase that makes patients find ways to «fight corpulence», and in other cases patients manage to keep weight for a long time. In the course of time hyperphagia followed by artificial retching may become obsession; with the eating process itself being pleasant. Depression and less frequently euphoria can also occur.

Definitions are a real groove but still they are too scholastic and scary. My objective is to tell you about it as a person who endured all disease stages and attempted to find useful information as you're doing it right now. Moreover, all described above is just consequences, disease manifestations.  The most unclear and interesting thing both for a client and her relatives is WHY so it happens? Indeed, can't one control the appetite not to eat too much? And that is the second point of confusion: all people overeat, but WHAT is retching for? And if one holds figure so dear why then eat at all?

WHY and WHAT FOR are the questions asked by relatives fighting bulimic's immorality, scag, abnormal eating behavior.  These questions are not of key importance for patients themselves, other things are more important for them: WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT? and HOW TO LIVE FURTHER?

Let's sort out the problem.

Let's start with WHY does it happen? (see above for «it» i.e. the definition). There are some factors identified by psychiatrists, psychotherapists and by clients themselves in respect to this WHY. And for the support of that already investigated and presented I personally spent much time on the addiction with further research and advising clients to make sure it is true. WHY happens BECAUSE:

We all were children and we have to search for a clue in our childhood:

1. Wrong attitude sets in respect to eating behavior supporting mechanisms of key pleasure, defense, need for safety i.e. for food.
2. Wrong eating education manifesting itself in love and attention expression through food.
3. Genetic dependence of food addiction.
4. Character formation and temper facilitating non-restraint, achieving goals by any means, exaggeration of the problem and its solutions.
5. Low self-esteem causes the wish to conform to others' norms and points of view, constant wish to change oneself. Mind frustration. Escape to food. Food is defense. It is the way to discharge anxiety.
6. A subconscious sense of guilt because of infant psychological traumatic experience of different severity levels. Mind frustration. Escape to food. Food is relief.
7. Emotional vacuum developing in the family: the sense of being loved not enough, the sense of not being good, the sense of needlessness, the sense of non-conformity. The wish to justify the confidence, to be a good girl, to be the best! To be the best for everybody!
8. The effect of fashion on the idea of thinness. «Thin = Successful = Beautiful = Rich = Beloved!»
9. Dismorphophobic symptoms of one's body rejection.
10. A range of associate psychic components. increased level of anxiety, hypersensitivity, critical thinking level (either this way or no way), depressions, fears, phobias, etc.
11. Social withdrawal, escape to the disease because of the sense of inferiority, because others don't understand you. Protection is food. Excess weight is immunity layer.

Is that enough? I can go on writing. One more relevant question emerges to develop that described above: WHAT FOR?

WHAT FOR implies what is the point of engorgement?

1. Food performs protective function in respect to all the items enumerated above.
2. Food cures of stress and troubles, of loneliness and complexes, etc.
3. Food is the expression of care, tenderness, enjoyment, comfort and of all things not provided using other ways due to the following reasons: see WHY.
4. Food physically fills the emotional vacuum.

And now goes the second part WHAT FOR — what is the point of cleaning it off oneself, of retching provocation, of taking lot of purgatives, stomach lavage, etc?

1. Self-punishment for immorality.

2. A unique way to keep a figure.

3. The sense of guilt «therapy» suffering retching anguish, etc.

4. Food as an enemy, evil spoiling the figure.

There remains a lot to write and philosophize on. I think the point is clear judging only from four items of each variant of the problem.

Now let's move further to the problems being of the most interest for those suffering from bulimia: WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT? and HOW TO LIVE FURTHER?

WHAT SHOULD I DO ABOUT IT? - To do something about IT one must admit IT. To get available and true information, to consult an expert concerning this or that bulimia form.  And…what do you think I will tell right now? — To start fighting it actively, to start the «Addiction release» program. «Hypnotic treatment for pigging-out and spewing once and for all»? To stop «pottering» and to start eating like normal people?  No. Neither of the options fit. They don't correspond to the solution point to the question WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT? in my opinion. Such «immorality», «a disease», ‘psychosomatic disorder' must be ACCEPTED. It must be accepted and understood why did it enter your life. This is just an event of your life cycle: neither good, nor bad.  It just takes place as a result of WHY and WHAT FOR described above.

Taking the problem for granted we face a choice: The first option is to stay with it, with bulimia bothering nobody with one's engorgement, throwing up products, weighing 30 times a day and lack of time and interest in more worthy occupations.  And the second option: to make up one's mind to find assistance, get interested both in your own various personality capacities and abilities except for «pigging-out and spewing» and searching for people able to lend professional support.

And now we have drawn to final question: HOW TO LIVE FURTHER?

• With or without bulimia?
• Will your memory keep it or will it be forgotten as a nightmare?
• What consequences can bulimia cause?
• What will be the revival of normal, active, joyful and healthy life without bulimia?
• Should anything be feared?
• What knowledge do you need not to be hooked once again?

You can find answers to all these questions working individually with your consulting psychologist. Unfortunately there are no common recommendations and conclusions. Everybody has his own individual experience of starting a new life!

The only thing I can share with you judging mainly from my personal experience and experience of my clients is that bulimia is first of all the way to a new life. This is a thorny way of self-learning and outworld learning and one's mission in it. To live further is good!

I genuinely wish you to find the way of salvation, rebirth, finding of yourself being true and unique!

Internet journal Bulimiastop.com